Monday, April 20, 2009

A wedding season dilemma.

What does a relatively broke young schoolteacher get a middle aged cardiologist as a wedding gift? My dad's late sister's husband is remarrying, and I'm excited about going to the wedding at seeing my relatives, but I have little idea what to get my uncle and his new bride. This is only the second wedding where that I've had to get a gift for on my own rather than letting my parents handle it, and I've recently discovered that there are people who take wedding gifts very seriously indeed so I don't want to screw this up. I guess I'm just going to set a budget and pick something off the registry more or less at random. Ok, well, not quite at random: there's no way I'm paying $29.99 plus shipping for a leopard print bath rug.

Now I just have to set a budget. I don't know that I can follow the cover your plate "rule" since I honestly don't know what they're spending on the whole shebang. I'm also not sure why their decision to throw a lavish or modest affair should affect what sort of gift I give them; I wish them equally well either way. I'm thinking that I may actually spend less than when my friends from junior high/high school/college(/I hope for the rest of our lives) got married last spring. They were broke college students starting a life together who actually needed a lot of things. My uncle is a widower with a teenager and his bride to be is also a fully fledged adult with a kid of her own so I think I can assume they both already have can openers despite registering for a very shiny new one. Is it cheap or heartless of me to think like this? What do you consider a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding gift?


Stephanie said...

I think the amount you spend depends on the closeness of your relationship and your income. Given your situation, I think $50 or $60 is reasonable.

Frugal Scholar said...

I don't know...As someone in--or near--the age bracket of bride and groom, I would never want a recent college grad to buy me a gift at all. Maybe something really token. And I'm not even a cardiologist. Run this one by your dad. That's how it would be in my family, but of course all families are different.

I would make a food basket or the like, with coffee etc and some cute dish towels.

DogAteMyFinances said...

Just ask, seriously.

Plenty of second weddings just have charity suggestions and don't even want gifts, this sounds like a candidate for that.

If you don't want to ask the couple, ask someone closer to them, like your dad.

Really, I wouldn't stress about this -- they know you're a broke schoolteacher.

I'd try to do something cheap but custom on etsy -- like a collar for their dog or something. At least write a nice card.

Fabulously Broke said...

I agree with Dog. They know they're better off than when most people get married, and that you're young and broke.

My rule is usually $50/person. :) And I cover my date.

Bouncing Back said...

Hey, maybe they do need a new electric can opener! You never know! I'll echo the others, $50 or $60 is more than reasonable. And I'd check with your parents on what is reasonable and to be expected.

Bonnie said...

You're still young enough and in a situation to where it would be acceptable, I think, for your name to be added to the gift being given by your parents. Maybe if you want you could send a card on your own.