Sunday, November 23, 2008

Dating, oh no, dating!

My old friend and I have kept emailing. We agreed to get together and catch up one day after Thanksgiving when I'll still be in town visiting my family and he'll have returned from visiting his. Then the emails led to telephone calls, the fantastic, funny, "Are you aware that we've yet again spent over an hour on the phone without realizing it?" sort of calls. It was nice.

Then he rather abruptly asked me, "How do you feel about me?" In the course of what may have well been among the top ten most stilted conversations of my life, he asked if we could consider it a date when we go out. Fool that I am, I said yes. Then I proceeded to explain why I really shouldn't be dated by anyone. Unfortunately, he was not dissuaded.

I'm going to panic, already am panicking actually. Although I have, as he pointed out, dated before, I'm pretty sure he is unaware that the total number of first dates I've been on is exactly one. The only thing I know for sure about this whole date thing is that he's already insisting on buying me lunch, and I don't want to let him, but he insists that he's really happy he can do so (his financial situation was much tighter a couple of months ago before he got roommates), and I don't want to wound his pride. So money is complicating things before they even begin.

I'm nervous that things will go badly, and I'm even more nervous that they'll go well. If the whole thing crashes and burns, we've needlessly added layers of awkwardness to what was a pretty pleasant non-romantic relationship. If it proves to be an enjoyable experience, well, I still don't need a boyfriend. There are far too many reasons why that's a horrendous idea right now, most of them too personal to go into here. Tentative, casual dating might prove to be not the worst thing in the world, but I can't see how casually dating someone who lives three hundred miles away would work. So I'm doomed, doomed but momentarily happy.

4 comments:

sara l said...

Try not to think of it as a date. You were happy to go out with him before he mentioned the D word, so don't let the word add extra pressure.

If it will make you feel better I'll email you my worst date ever story. It involves a blind date, Hotel Rwanda, and thoughts on homeschooling.

Sallie's Niece said...

Don't stress and just enjoy a meal with a friend. If it turns into more, even better. Have fun!

Revanche said...

If people can find that they went on a date without knowing it, you can go hang out with him not thinking of it as one to reduce the awkwardness.

Hope it goes well!

plonkee said...

You're overthinking. There is no problem. It's conceivable that there may be a problem in the future. On the other hand, there may not.

Just enjoy yourself.

And don't listen to know it alls like me ;)