After reading Dog's post about how she thinks it is hard to believe that someone would find it difficult to find a job in this economy, I finally decided to post about the boy's employment situation. He quit his job earlier this summer without having anything else lined up. He debated for weeks and finally just jumped, a decision I thought was short-sighted at the time, but it wasn't my choice to make. After taking about a day off, he started calling the electrical contractors he'd heard were hiring. They weren't.
He proceeded to contact every other electrical contractor in the region. A couple accepted applications to keep on file, but there have been no nibbles. In the ensuing weeks, the boy pounded the pavement, putting in applications for just about anything to tide him over as his savings dwindled: janitorial work, maintenance, retail, fast food. So far, nothing. He's done a little illegal electrical work for his family and some friends (apprentices can't officially work on their own), discovered that a laminated social security card isn't accepted by BioLife for purposes of selling plasma and ordered a new card, has two roommates scheduled to move into his two bedroom apartment early next month, and is vehemently refusing to accept money from his parents.
So he's stressed, and I'm stressed. Note that long distance makes this a bit worse; he wants to drive down to his parents' place some weekend to visit, but I don't think he should spend the money on gasoline. He feels judged and emasculated by the situation. I feel frustrated that he won't just let me pay for gas while simultaneously worrying a bit about establishing a precedent of trying to bail him out of his own decisions. If it were our life and our money, the situation might be less of a problem, but his latest plans for the rest of his life all but guarantee that we won't end up together so I guess he's lurching toward the realization that he's never going to get past the point of thinking that I'm easily replaceable.
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5 comments:
"I guess he's lurching toward the realization that he's never going to get past the point of thinking that I'm easily replaceable."
What does that mean? Maybe I'm reading it wrong but it doesn't sound good.
I don't understand your last sentence either! But try not to blame this fellow for getting caught up in the economic Zeitgeist. A lot of "older and wiser" people did too.
So because your boyfriend can't find a job you don't think you guys should be together anymore? A lot of people are out of work right now. I hope he finds something soon.
I'm sorry it's so tough. Unemployment is a NASTY blow to the ego.
It isn't that I'm deciding to break up with the boy. I guess I should have more clearly explicated the relationship issues I alluded to in the last paragraph, so here goes;
Being unemployed and seeing what the recession has done to the construction industry and prospect for electricians has led the boy to seriously reconsider his career path.He's now planning to go back to college in January thanks to his generous parents' willingness to pay tuition, finish his mathematics degree, and become a teacher. If this makes him happy, then I am in favor of it. However, he's also started saying that he never wants to leave the college town because he is sick of moving every few years. He made it pretty clear that that is his priority, even if it means things end when I move on to grad school, and he's very insistent that I do go on to grad school and not factor him into my decisions. (Not that I was ever willing to give it up, but I might have considered modifying my timetable for doing so, depending on how things played out in our relationship and with his schooling.)He's also very down on the idea of remaining in a long distance relationship much longer.
It's possible that stress about the prospect of being forced to uproot his life and move back in with his parents is partly behind his desire to never move again, but if he's serious, then our relationship has an expiration date, and that makes me sad.
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