My ex-boyfriend would have been 25 today. He was bright, kind, and wonderful, and what he did was utterly senseless. Everyone insisted there was nothing I could have done because he had so wholly cut me out of his life a year before, but the guilt is still overwhelming today. What if I'd married him back when he'd wanted to, instead of worrying that he was hoping our relationship would provide him with direction when he felt adrift and lonely and that he might come to regret it? Would being there have done any good?
The word from the professors around him his last months was that his life seemed to be going better than it ever had, that he finally had his act together and was growing into the person they'd always hoped he'd become. His parents visited him the weekend before he committed suicide and said he seemed cheerful. There are never going to be any answers, and this will never be ok.
Seriously, go be with people you love while you can.